Individualism in love relationships is a common phenomenon.

 

Individualism in love relationships is a common phenomenon.

While it is always a good idea to maintain a certain individualism in a relationship, some take it to the extreme. These people only care about their own happiness and only objectify others.

Individualism in love relationships is a common phenomenon that can be quite discouraging for some. Its motto: “You go home, I go home. Make your own plans, I've already made mine. Solve your own problems, I take care of my life ”.

Independence within a relationship can be positive. You should definitely have your own space as an individual. But it seems that society is at a point where healthy individualism leads to harmful selfishness. Some people only care about their own well-being.

Extremes are never good, even if these unhealthy poles seem to abound in recent years. Psychologists and sociologists call these people "super singles". This is because they only care about meeting their own needs. Far from building mature, adult and conscious bonds, these people seek only their own happiness and show an almost childish ego.

Maintaining a certain individualism in a love affair is healthy up to the point where the other person is only an instrument to use when it is comfortable.

The causes of individualism in love relationships

Individualism would not be a problem if both parties wanted it that way. Everyone has the right to build any type of band they want at any time, as long as their partner agrees. There are polyamory, weekend couples and many other types of relationships that can be gratifying when previously agreed upon.

But people are often in situations that they did not anticipate or imagine. They may suddenly find themselves in a relationship with someone who constantly comes up with excuses for the idea of ​​moving in together. These people only take into account their own problems, views and needs. Some rarely validate the feelings of others and only theirs are important.

Some say that couples should start with a trailer, as in the movies, to know if it is worth it or not to start a relationship. This is because having an individualistic partner is basically like being with someone with a clear tendency to make decisions and act without taking others into account.

Super singles do not want responsibility

Before we continue, we should mention that healthy individualism should be a part of all relationships. In other words, it is always a good idea for the people to let it blend into each other to create an enriching and healthy couple. A relationship where both win without losing their individual identity.

However, individualism reaches unwanted extremes in super singles:

Individualistic men and women think only of themselves when it comes to sex.

They slip away and avoid all responsibility when difficulties arise and place the obligation to solve any problems on their partner.

Individualists want a simple life and only try to satisfy their immediate needs. They have little tolerance for frustration and feel overwhelmed by trivial aspects. Thus, they do not care about sharing concerns, tasks or projects.

Individualism in love relationships is also defined by an unwillingness to create plans for the future. Some people prefer to focus on the present.

Floating love and individualism

Individualism undermines a relationship when one's own needs are the main priority, at any time, in any moment and in any circumstance. These are relationships where there is only one "I" and never "we". This portrait fits into the theory of liquid love by sociologist Zygmunt Bauman.

The consumer society also permeates and shapes how people relate to each other and many initiate bands as when they buy a gadget. They are only looking for temporary reinforcement and an endorphin and dopamine rush. The product (person) is only good as long as it meets their needs.

Thus, they will throw a relationship as soon as they feel charged with duties or no longer achieve a satisfactory level of pleasure and well-being.

Individualism in a love relationship defines the person who slips away from the sensitive and beautiful task of building an emotional bond. Those who just want to consume and satisfy their needs are fleeing from everything that requires effort.

Commitment and individualism in love relationships can coexist

Individualism is not a hallmark of this century. In fact, it has evolved quietly over many decades.

For example, baby boomers (the generation between 50 and 65 years old) had already begun to show a more independent character. They were less conditioned by family ties, obligations and conformism.

All of this, without a doubt, consolidated many of the social advances that people have today. But some people take it to the extreme until they ruin their relationships due to selfishness, narcissism and materialism.

Nevertheless, studies such as those conducted at the University of Notre Dame point out that individualism and mutual commitment can and should coexist. It is the ability and the will to create a common space where you take care of each other without losing your identity. It's about team building.