your child does not want to go to school
Tips and advice when children refuse school
The autumn term is in full swing.
Try to learn about the children's body language, write every day how the children's behavior is when coming in from school. while nin looking at the teachers while watching the children rent reacts when the teachers are nearby.
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Children and parents begin to land in a new everyday life after the summer.
But, what to do if your child does not want to go to school?
Here the expert gives his best tips.
https://archive.org/details/BodyLanguageAllanPease/page/n121/mode/2up
Sometimes the important schooling can turn into a difficult part with quarrels, nagging and school refusal. When should you as a parent or relative seek help and what warning signs are important to know? Child and adolescent psychotherapist Beatrice Nellbrandt at Nina Samtalsgruppen explains why some children distance themselves from school and what you can do as a parent or close adult.
Creating contact and showing interest in the child is a must.
The fact that children and young people sometimes, or at times, say that they do not want to go to school, does not in most cases mean that something needs to be wrong or worrying.
- Adults need to be sensitive so that children can be tired, have a hard time during development and react to changes within the family or at school, for example by expressing school fatigue.
Signs that something is not right
Beatrice believes that the best approach is to try to show understanding. At the same time, she clarifies the importance of being clear that schooling is important. However, when a child repeatedly worries about the school day, refuses to leave home in the morning, seems depressed or shows fear or avoidant behavior when trying to talk about the school situation, there may be something in the child's situation or development that is not true.
- Be open because it can be about very different things and show that you are prepared to explore the situation with the child. The child may not be aware of what the error is all the time.
Then you can talk to your child
Talking to the child can seem difficult, Beatrice thinks it is a good idea to try to ask questions to find out how the child experiences schooling. It is also good if another adult that both the child and the parents trust dares to ask the child questions.
- It is also good as a parent to turn to another adult to sort out thoughts and difficult feelings that can be aroused, when your child is unwell. After that, it may be easier to know how to proceed.
As a close adult, you can show your commitment to the child's well-being in many ways. Think about how and in what form your relationship and communication with the child usually works best, based on this experience, decide to address your questions about the school situation at a good time.
- Think about how it will be most comfortable and most constructive for both of you. On the walk home from school, when you are on the road in the car or during the weekend when you have done something nice. Do not ask too many why-questions on the edge of the bed when the child is going to fall asleep or when the anxiety is strongest.
As a parent, it is important to have an ongoing dialogue with the school and other parents.
- Ask questions about what is happening in the class and if there is any other parent who experiences similar tendencies. If you are worried, a visit to school or leisure time can be the best entrance for increased understanding and further conversations with the child and others who can be helpful.
Show interest in the children's interest
A trusting conversation with a child who is exposed or experiencing emotional problems rarely occurs at once, or with a method. Showing interest in the child's favorite toy, playing a game or discussing the taste of music can be a way to get in touch. Conversations often start best with joint activity.
- My experience is that especially younger children can pretty soon tell about stressful or difficult things that they have been through when questions are asked in an understandable and playful way. Slightly older children and young people are happy to tell about their experiences and feelings only when they feel
safe and free enough, they want to be involved and steer the course of events forward. Never promise children that everything they say should stay between you, rather invite the child to choose, for example, the order in which different people should be involved in solving the problem and make a plan together. The most important thing is to always offer to listen and look for solutions going forward
Warning signs that your child is unhappy at school
It is important as an adult to remember that children and young people who experience bullying, vulnerability or mental illness can feel ashamed and normalize their feelings and situations.
- Expect to offer yourself as a conversation partner several or many times without the child daring to tell further. Do not forget to tell the child as a parent or close relative that there is also an opportunity for the child to turn to another adult or professional help at school.
Children who for a long time show that they are unhappy at school can show a number of different warning signs depending on age and what the problem at school is really about. It is important to take these seriously.
- When bullying, perhaps the first thing you notice is that the child does not have anyone to take part in the breaks. Children who are bullied often want to stay home from school without being ill, having separation anxiety or an outbreak in the morning. Sleeps and eats poorly in connection with the start of school and may seem depressed or anxious without telling why.
If a child does not feel comfortable at school or has a high level of absence due to the home situation being filled with stress or the child having his or her own difficulties that need to be investigated further, the first warning signs may look similar to bullying. Diffuse symptoms that can also be common for reasons other than bullying are difficulty keeping up with schoolwork, recurring psychosomatic disorders such as stomach pain, headaches and descriptions that it is boring at breaks or early-developed performance anxiety.
- Strong signs of school refusal, breakdowns and outbreaks can also occur. Children with disabilities or, for example, young people with anxiety problems are also at greater risk of meeting maladaptive demands from the adult world and being exposed or experiencing loneliness in the social school environment.
Mobile phone can contribute to security
A common discussion both inside and outside the school is mobile phone use. Beatrice believes that the mobile phone can actually contribute to security for some children.
- Children who feel bad or have experienced bullying can often feel safe if there is a special agreement between parents and school staff on how and when the child should have access to their mobile. This is so that the child can contact their parents during the day if something becomes too difficult and if other strategies that have been planned together are not enough.
Everyday routines are important for all children and they can also facilitate schooling. By making sure that the child gets to school on time and helps with homework, you help them a lot.
- Make clear demands according to ability and find solutions that suit your family.
If the child experiences schooling for a long period of time as heavy, you as a relative or parent should contact the school.
- In situations where a child has obviously been abused in the school environment or is in need of support to cope with their schooling, guardians should contact teachers, school counselors or other staff in the student health team for a conversation about the child's school situation, peer relationships and mood. As a relative or close relative, in these situations you should support parents to make the necessary contacts with the school and perhaps help to produce important information about the school's way of working against bullying and children's right to adaptations based on needs according to the Education Act.
The family situation can affect the child
Children's refusal to go to school or signals that they are not feeling well can be about something more than the school situation itself. The child may need adaptations, special educational efforts or other solutions.
- Student health must be able to offer expertise through a school nurse, school doctor, school psychologist, school counselor or someone with special educational competence. You can turn here primarily if the child has difficulty with social interaction, learning, concentration or does not feel well in the school social environment. Furthermore, contacts can be made with the health center, speech therapist, BUMM (pediatric and adolescent medical clinics) or BUP (child and adolescent psychiatry).
Sometimes it's not just about school, family - related events and situations also affect the child.
Try to have a good relationship with your child to tell the story. Always keep an eye on the children's behavior how the children eat if the children get worse and can not eat you should examine the school.
So try to demand the school so that the father or with good behavioral knowledge go to the school and stay and examine the relationship between the teachers and the children.
Do not forget to always write how the children's behavior and changes.
- The children who experience insecurity at home, are worried about their parents' health, finances often show diffuse symptoms. In many municipalities and districts, the social services offer open initiatives that you can apply for on your own. As individual parent counseling or shorter parent training, collaborative discussions and family counseling. On their own and without a referral, children, young people and parents can also get in touch with first-line child psychiatry, which is to provide support for mild to moderate mental illness.
FACTS: Common reasons for anxiety during or before the school day
Exclusion
Bullying
Incorrect level of requirements, ie too high or low requirements in a teaching situation
Anxiety that is linked to stress in the home or other context
Depression, anxiety or unexplained neuropsychiatric difficulties
TIPS AND ADVICE
Talk to the child
Collaborate and talk with other adults in the child's vicinity, it creates security for the child.
Talk to the child's teacher.
Ask the child questions at the right time such as the walk home from school, when you are on the road in the car, or during the weekend when you have done something nice.
Find concrete opportunities for conversation with the child when neither you nor the child are worried or upset. Be observant of any changes or current stresses for the child, then it will be easier for you to ask follow-up questions.
Show interest in the child's favorite toy, play a game or discuss musical tastes that create a way to get in touch.
Children tell and express themselves most easily when they do not feel pressured and when they perceive that adults want to listen. Sometimes it can be easier to talk to someone outside the home, at school or with another adult in a private network or at a call reception.
Collaborate with each other in the family and tell the child that contacts will be made to make things better. Get in touch with school staff, primarily teachers / mentors, then student health if necessary. Make a plan or agreement with school staff. Follow up the planning or action plan if one has been drawn up. Continue to support each other and work together, change can take time.
Never force children to go to school if your children do not want to go to school, you should seek information about behavioral science and body language, also seek advice from those who have knowledge of children's behavior and also children's body language.
- Facial expressions. The human face is extremely expressive, able to convey countless emotions without saying a word. ...
- Body movement and posture. ...
- Gestures. ...
- Eye contact. ...
- Touch. ...
- Space. ...
- Voice. ...
- How to Help Your Child Understand Body Language
- Match the Movement to the Message. Show your child how different body movements can convey clear and specific emotion. ...
- Point Out Examples. You can bring the concept of body language to life by noticing how people—both in real life and on TV—are interacting. ...
- Play Body-Language Charades. ...
- Don't Get Too Literal.
- Below are 6 ways to use these cues to empower and engage your students.
- Eye Contact. One of the best ways to connect with our students and keep their focus. ...
- Be Expressive and Use Gestures. Inspire students to become involved with the lesson. ...
- Keep Your Arms Open. ...
- Praise with Your Whole Body. ...
- Adopt a Thinking Pose. ...
- Smile.
- Being able to reading body language is a skill. And like with other skills, some kids are better at it than others. Kids have trouble reading body language for different reasons. Some miss these cues because they're not paying attention
- Why is body language important kids?
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